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Hey, Smile.

by Naming Planets

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Kiki Garlet
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Kiki Garlet Sean knows I cried tears of joy the first time he played Distance Formula for me. Favorite track: Distance Formula.
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1.
Camus 02:31
The first thing is, you gotta believe that change is possible. You have to tell yourself everyday, "I can change, and I will change." LOUDER I can change mm fuck it... did you used to get the feeling, everything was for a reason and symbolic of a greater happening but now you wake up every morning without that feeling, and every breath feels like you're peeling off a scab that hasn't healed for years and years and years and years and years for the second time today you lost your way you lost your way and i've all but forgotten how you used to say you used to say that our bodies were all that we have so i made a map i made a map and when i mapped it out i found something new, and we both we both forgot you
2.
when i was younger i didn't feel old and now i'm younger but i'm starting how to learn how to do what i'm told so every night i'm smoking cigarettes in my dreams i'm losing my teeth and every night i wake up 3 am on the nose and there's no feeling in my toes but my teeth are still at home so i thank my lucky stars that i'm alive and i thank god that im alive and i thank god i haven't died and i thank god i'm gonna die but mother nature and father time have combined to insure that your demise is a gradual decline and the choice is up to you whether it comes pretty soon or whether you stay to pay your dues just don't watch the evening news cause i for one placed my cosmic bets on a dying sun so when tomorrow morning comes i'll press my fingers against my gums and maybe this will be the glitch when exposed nerves meet my finger tips as cartilage and ligaments crack and splinter out my skin and when they splinter out my skin metamorphoses begins my heart refracts a sinister twin breathing without oxygen and though i try to smother it it breathes it beats it ticks as if counting down the inevitable regression to a place before space and time when our fetal conscious were entwined before we separately broke free and and crash landed separately and now stranded separately but some of us have memories and we want back so god help me we're trying can't you see it's almost 1 now i must be home but we can't that word without a sarcastic overtone and, wouldn't it be nice to go to sleep when the ocean washes over my grave it's gonna wash over yours too. that's right mother fucker, when i go down i'm taking you with me. when my rotting corpse is laid beneath the sand you will be my postmortem twin. i don't care what it takes, you're never going to hurt anyone ever again. when you entered this world beside me, you vowed- you… you vowed to make me angry. when you entered this world beside me you vowed to forever change the way i perceive reality. you promised to make every day drag on for eternity and every night feel like tumbling deeper and deeper into the inky blackness of what i thought was a bottomless well. but i hit the bottom hard, and now climbing to the top faster than you ever thought i would, and as the universe is my witness, i'm gonna get you.
3.
i have scene which repeats itself in my head. it's begins with a close up shot of a young man looking into the camera. he pauses tentatively before asking "do you really mean it, when you say i'm going to make it?" the camera then rotates 180 degrees to reveal a woman of the same age standing opposite of him. she extends her right hand, placing her palm softly on his cheek. she gazes at him with a look that falls somewhere in between pity and disdain and says "the whole world will know will know your name before you even begin to realize what's happening, and you will drown surround by people who've never met you, and never will." when she says this, her mouth moves and the words are heard, yet the two are not connected. it's not her. it's him. i don't know if i'm trying to relate it to my own life and experiences, or if it's merely a half formed idea that my brain has chosen to latch onto. either way, i think about it everyday, and sometimes it scares me. it's not a visceral fear like my life is in danger it's instead, a deep rooted feeling of unease, as if i'm observing something i was never meant to see. i don't know if they're supposed to be humans, or just feelings which have been given physical form by something deep within my subconscious whatever the answer may be—i'm afraid of her.
4.
am i are you still me still you our minds wander farther and farther my search for earthlings was disappointing no one noticed me screaming don't do drugs don't have unprotected sex don't smoke cigarettes don't hang out with those kids don't take your parents for granted if you take on the world by yourself don't expect it to be easy and i'm not coming back for no i'm not coming back for you but i'm not coming back for i'm still not coming back for you we're formless shapes running in place when observed in our purest state and in these confines we try to combine pleasure, comfort, and meaningful lovers but i'm not coming back for i'm still not coming back for you no i'm not coming back for i'm never not coming back for you (we're too scared to do shit) don't do drugs don't have unprotected sex don't smoke cigarettes don't hang out with those kids don't take your parents for granted if you take on the world by yourself don't expect it to be easy and please just don't let them down just down let me down please just don't let them down just down let me down oh god i’m scared and i know that you’re scared even if you don’t let on as much as i do i used to distance to calculate how far we had grown, but obviously it didn’t yield the results i was looking for as long as you're ok, i’m ok, and most of my fear and worries comes from that thought some someone’s out there taking advantage of you, which if you think about it is kind of ironic. send your complaints, cease and desist, car seat headrest, matador records.
5.
Girl Fever 03:49
she’s a little bright silhouette in my chest all the pain disappears when she comes near these are silly things a naked girl some diamond rings promising some relief false hope deceit in 2099 the stars will align and present me with the secrets of life before i die 142 songs about you everyone of them a little less blue oh girl, pointless in the vacuum which emerged from the death of a wonderful world she’s all christened white broken light in my head her smallest pain or biggest fear brings me to tears. she lays in the sun holy one judgment day seems to fall every hour she’s away in 3099 i'll still be alive looking down at you from atop the star where i reside 6042 songs about you forever singing them into the blue oh girl, pointless in the vacuum which emerged from the death of a wonderful world hate the way i’m acting, act like its not acting. leave it all behind for you. hate the way i'm feeling, actually love the feeling. leave it all behind for you.
6.
i broke my arm i crashed my car i broke the strings on my guitar all at once you hate i and so do me i’m so drunk i can’t see you just once and i turned around just once i turned back around withering in my bud in complete slithering sounds a ruck-us you see sickness into the tub something's up with me for me to agree to putting myself through hell for the confidence to tell you i broke my arm i crashed my car i broke the strings on my guitar all at once you hate i and so do me i’m so drunk i can’t see you just once and i turned around just once i turned back around something's up with the way you're moving something's up with the way you're moving something's up with the way you're moving and it's not right something's up with the way you're moving something's up with the way you're moving something's up with the way you're moving and it's not right oh what a mind you've left for me i’ll fix my mind but it's not for you oh what a mind you've left for me i’ll fix my mind but it's not for you (wait, wasn’t there gonna be… like a breakdown at the end?) and i don't hate you as much as i wish i did
7.
would you become the vultures that circle ‘round my death would you pick my bones clean would you sever my serpent head if you pop the thought bubbles that circle round my head would you devour what you find like it's enough or will you k-k-k-keep eating till i lose the essence of myself r-r-r-r-r-row sour ain't it, mother fucker? oh yeah somebody told me that the drugs don't work but if the drugs don't work then what do you do? gerard way told me that the drugs don't work but if the drugs don't work then what do you do? but if the drugs don't work all you've got is friends, and if the friends don't work then what do you do? cause if the drugs don't work and all i’ve got is friends, but the friends don't work all i've got is you. take of all our clothes and now we're hiding more than before take a sip of this and you won't feel like hiding anymore take a hit of this and you'll be finally fucking cured take some off my lips and you'll swear you were never pinned as pure i don't fuck with it fuck with it watch the way i break as i don't fuck with it fuck with it watch the i break. love love i don’t fuck with it fuck love love love’s a virus in my brain
8.
you can take our hearts you can take our personalities but even when we're wiped clean we'll still be unhappy with what we've got come on tell me you'll be there for me when our bodies fall apart oh tell me we'll be together when ourselves become the art you can take our grievances you can take our discomfort but even when we shouldn't be we'll still be unhappy with what we've got come on, come on, come on, tell me you'll be there for me when our bodies turn to glass oh tell me we'll be together when we're nothing but the grass
9.
first verse reads out like a suicide note ritually writing down an explanation on a post-it note and sticking it to the wall i don't know why i tell you anything anymore it hasn't felt good in so long it's not a relief it's a task, it's a drag i'm a programed robot with a few key phrases like: "i miss you" "i am lonely" "i want to die" "this bed is bigger than i remember before you were here" before you were here i'm starting to scare myself i used to feel bad, but now i only feel nothing you could kill yourself tonight and i don't know if i'd even care... at all i want you dead, i want you dead, i want you dead, i want you dead, i want you dead, i want you dead, i want you dead, i want you dead, i want you dead, i want you dead, i want you dead, i want you dead, i want you dead, i want you dead, i want you dead, i want you dead, oxymoron, a statement that contradicts itself inherently. politics, the political nature to the discourse of our apologies look i know, we all, get it, fucked up, sometimes, feels like, shit i, say don’t reflect how i feel. feel like i see what needs fixing and i break it easy as speed of sound. do you feel me now? or did i make it worse? the former’s the intent, but the ladder’s just how it goes. and what’s the point of intent if the product’s burning coals. we feel like we’re fucking broken but we’re not. say it with me now. i’m not evil, i’m not evil i’m not. i’m not evil, at least i hope that i’m not. but who am i to say the person i present is real. true evil birds it’s time, hides, manifests in how i feel. fuckin i’m not evil, i’m not evil, i’m not. i don’t have time for evil, i’m a good person, i thought. but i stole that last lyric, so who’s to say that i’m honest. can’t even vouch for myself, but i’m not evil, i promise.
10.
it exists, an absolute more final than death. azathoth blinks and you are condemned to an eternal state of being. your reality deconstructed to an infinite degree, until nothing is left but the ability to hurt. the sine wave equivalent of existence, all that remains is the roaring tone of the strings you used to possess. if you had a mouth it would be screaming. if you had ears they would bleed. but such is the blessing of mortality. so why fight it? the time has come to forget your love it's all gone the time has come to forget you were ever here repaint the wall where you wrote "joe was here" in some half hearted attempt to make something you do matter and to try and make you feel like having left your mark is reason enough to leave the clock is nearing that time of night or day it doesn't really matter when you look at it that way, now does it oh your misguided dreams of how other people feel they never really mattered, and never really healed the point was to adapt but all your sharp edges have dulled but ill to fix you the best that i can and we'll try to fix you the best that we can the clock is nearing that time again when i'd love to help but you wouldn't really try and i know your brain won't let you but my brains angry that your brain wants to die and now i'm crying cause i'm scared i'll wake up and you'll have vanished yeah you'll have disappeared but i know you're always fighting but now you're tired and now you've disappeared but i tried to fix you the best that i could and we tried to fix you the best that we could 1. something’s coming. 2. it’s out to get me 3. should i hide? 4. you don’t give a fuck 5. we’re all gonna die 6. it’s a thrill when it ticks 7. 8. 9. 10. slit wrist misfit slayer, swaying back and forth through the time lapse. his eyes are six inches behind where they should be. six feet deep in his mind and in time, in his black flag t-shirt. fuck you, frenzy, pardon your obscenity. eat his fucking corpse when he’s dead. gorge yourself until you’re good and sick, little vulture. i get tired when you text my phone not because i don't wanna talk to you it's because i know there's nothing i can do to make you feel the way i want you to so bring me down, down, down with you and when presented with a golden opportunity i pussy out, well then fuck you too. and when you ask me reply with “i don't know” not cause it's true, cause it's the easiest answer i’ll bring you down, down, down with me you don’t want life don’t want to die too scared to try we have combined our unconscious minds it’s not alright you witness me falling to my demise soon you follow suit ooo
11.
above the trees and beneath the sea there’s a plan for you and me something sweet carried away by the breeze when our graves were freshly dug i went ghosting just above now the earth is dry cold and it hurts just the same so call me if you’re feeling down don’t matter how it feels right now lovers will never truly die Their particles will recollect in better lives and in some future life you’ll find a love so strong it clouds your eyes and you won’t think of me and i won’t dream of you for one more night no matter what lies circle my head i know we’ll never speak again poisoned words and severed ties and now I’m born again into life so goodbye
12.
i wouldn't tell you cause you wouldn't care a conversation that i'd rather leave un-conversated but i've been better lately for what it's worth my insignificance has turned a sense of bitter sweet not quite self worth but it's close to that i used to stay up late and think but now i don't think much about it because the power of a fleeting thought can be so easily misjudged by another one and the power of your beating heart can be so easily misconstrued s a sinister drum “this is the part of the conversation where i start to regret having it in the first place.” but as i realized near the end of things, there's no use for the thoughts of a free man once your fate is sealed. and as he realized towards the beginning of things, there's no use for the thoughts of ephrya when you're deep underground but even if it doesn't work and even if it hurts i love you. Thank you for listening to me.

about

By the time you're reading this, I will be a child no longer.

Released on April 19th 2018, my eighteenth birthday, the following album is an exploration of my experiences in life thus far.

credits

released April 19, 2018

Toy Xylophone on I have a scene which repeats itself in my head in part recorded by Anson Rutherford.

Piano on Distance Formula played by the wonderful Ben Kane.

My two most prevalent influences influences are Car Seat Headrest and Death Grips. This album features samples, and lyricism inspired by both bands, as well as Joy Again, Peaer, Squitch, and others who are incredibly meaningful to me.

I would like to thank each one of these people who was contributed knowingly, or unknowingly to my artistic progression. I appreciate you all immensely and if someday you're reading this, I am truly honored.

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Naming Planets Fairfax, Virginia

Solo project of
Sean Jensen.

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